“Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
If you were to have a conversation with your spouse/partner, to let them know what you need most from them, what might you say?
“I need to feel, to sense that:
– I am special to you and that you really value our relationship. I need that reassurance that I am number one with you and that nothing is more important to you than us.
– I am wanted by you, as a partner and a lover, that making me happy is important to you.
– I am loved and accepted, with my failings and imperfections. I can’t be perfect for you.
– I am needed. You want me close.
– I am safe because you care about my feelings, hurts, and needs.
– I can count on you to be there for me, to not leave me alone when I need you the most.
– I will be heard and respected. Please don’t dismiss me or leap into thinking the worst of me. Give me a chance to learn how to be with you.
– I can count on you to hear me and to put everything else aside.
– I can ask you to hold me and to understand that just asking is very hard for me.” (From Sue Johnson’s Hold Me Tight)
What would happen if a couple could sit down to have such conversations, to truly listen, understand and share their hearts, their desires and fears?
Lord, help us to be open and honest about our thoughts and feels, and share in love and gentleness for mutual understanding which enhances mutual growth in you; help us to know and remember that we are completely accepted by you, so that we will have no fear no matter what we are facing. Even with overwhelming emotions, calm the storm and help us to move towards others in love and in faith. Amen.